Room to Breathe
by Smartie19
Summary: This is not your typical Bella Edward story; things can't always be perfect in paradise. After living five months in the Cullen house, Bella realizes she needs to experience life on her own for a while. Jacob and Angela are semi-main characters.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** I am not Stephanie Meyer and I do not own the Twilight books or any of their characters.

BPOV-

You know how after you've stuffed yourself full of something that at the time was wonderful, and then as soon as you've stopped shoveling food into you mouth, you wish you had chosen something that wouldn't leave you feeling lifeless and immobile? Well, right now that is exactly how I'm feeling about being with Edward. After that fantastic day in our meadow we'd spent every waking minute together. After I told Charlie Edward and I were engaged, he had become especially hard to live with. He was never one for deep heart-to-hearts, but we chatter every now and then, but not anymore. It's like I have the plague, and he fears he'll catch just by talking to me. Since Charlie decided to act in that manor, I decided living there with him was a waste of time and moved in with the Cullens. I was welcomed with open arms, and at the time couldn't have been happier, I mean who wouldn't be overjoyed at moving into the home of the supposed love of their life? I've been living here for five months now, and already I've grown bored.

I knew Edward was protective of me, and I don't blame him, trouble always seems to find me. But he is pushing my limits, am I wrong in wanting to be able to leave the house? Anytime I express interest in leaving to get something, or just to do something in general, Edward instantly veto's the suggestion and declares it unsafe for me outside of the house without him or one of his siblings. Honestly, I should be able to run to the grocery store without constant surveillance. Truly, I am not exaggerating when I say I am being **SMOTHERED**. It's getting so bad that I'm considering getting a job, moving out, and forbidding Edward to live with me. Of course, I could never live fully without him in my life, but I certainly can live without him in the same space.

There are positives about my life though, for instance, I am still good friends with Jacob, despite the mutual hate between him and Edward. Somehow I've managed to make it work, and I am eternally grateful for that. Also, I've stayed especially close with Angela. She lives in a small apartment in Seattle where she is attending university. As luck would have it, she is actually in the market for a new roommate, the girl she was living with decided to run off with her boyfriend, of three months, to New York City so they could become supermodel's together. That girl is living in a bubble, but hey, I'm not complaining, her delusion has made it even easier for me to move out of the Cullen house.

I decided today was the day I needed to leave. Staying would only make it harder on everyone, including me. I called Angela to make sure she hadn't found herself a new roommate yet, which she hadn't, and that I was planning on moving out and wanted to move in with her. She had no objections, and was ecstatic when I told her to expect me later that night. As soon as I got off the phone with Angela I knew Alice would see what I was planning and run off to warn Edward, but decided it didn't matter, because I was doing this regardless.

I stood in the closet I shared with Edward, having just finished packing my stuff , when he came into our room. He came over to the closet and leaned against the door frame. I knew Alice had told him what she saw and that he was hear to tell me I can't leave him. I started to move toward him, well, not him as mush as the door, but he blocked it. "Edward, let me through. I've made up my mind and you aren't going to change it." I looked up at him and locked my eyes on his, staring with a ferocity I didn't know I had.

"I want to know why, Alice saw you leaving and going to Angela's but she doesn't see the cause." He just kept staring at me, his gold flecked eyes full of an intensity I knew meant he was not going to back down easily.

"Edward, I love you, you know I do, but your over protectiveness is sucking the life-force out of me. You don't let me do anything by myself. Sometimes I just need Bella-time. I can't have that if I can't be alone."

"Why do you need 'Bella-time'? I thought you wanted to be with me, forever."

"I do want to be with you, but I don't want to spend every minute of my life at your side. Don't you ever just want to be alone, just you and your thoughts?"

He glared at me. "No."

I glared back. "Well I do." I tried to shove past him, but he wouldn't budge. "Edward, nothing you say is going to change how I feel, I need to do this. For me, for us. I need to experience life on my own for a little while." He still didn't move. "You can't keep me in this closet forever, I'll die." I knew saying that was a low-blow, but I wanted to hurt him, so he'd be more inclined to let me leave.

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to turn right here and now."

Okay, that was not how I thought he was going to respond. Granted, this is what I had wanted for so long, but currently, I wasn't sure I even wanted to spend eternity with him. Especially, if he was going to continue being completely unreasonable. I decided not to say what I was thinking, it would have only escalated the situation. I was desperate to get out as soon as I could, so I played the loving and grateful girlfriend card. "Edward, I know you don't want to do that. I know I've been asking for you to change me, but I realize how much it means to you that we're married first. Don't do something you're going to regret later."

"I may regret it later, but if it means I get to keep you here with me, I'll do it." The intensity in his eyes changed from one of brute force, to one of honest sincerity. Alright, now he's melting me heart, but I still need want to leave, if only for a short time. I just need to make him understand.

"I'm not going to be far away, Angela lives in Seattle. And it's not like we won't see each other. I still want to be with you, I just don't want to live with you, not right now at least. You can come up and visit me, not whenever you want, but often enough that neither of us will experience withdrawals from each other. I NEED to do this Edward. If you don't let me leave, I'm only going to resent you for it. Please, tell me you understand."

He stepped from the doorway. I picked up my duffle bag full of clothes and brushed past him. I walked out into the room, moving slowly toward the door, when I reached it he spoke, "Bella." I stopped, my back to him. I turned around, keeping my head low, not wanting to see the sadness in his eyes. "I love you," his voice was low, but full of warmth and honesty. I opened my mouth to say it back, but was abruptly interrupted when Edward rushed forward to embrace me in a hug. He moved lightning quick, I hardly had time to brace myself, but he was gentle, as always. I wrapped my arms around him. We stood like that for a long time, neither of us daring to let go first, when finally I looked out the window, and saw the sun starting to set.

"I have to go." I whispered it, barely audible, but I knew he heard. He let me go and I strode out.


	2. Chapter 2

You know how after you've made a life altering decision, you always stop and think 'what the hell did I just do?' Well, I'm definitely having that moment right now.

So I'm sitting outside in the extra parking space assigned to Angela's-well I guess it's mine now too-apartment, trying to figure out why I thought I didn't want to live with Edward anymore. I mean really, who cares if I can't leave the house with out some kind of escort and have almost no privacy? Oh wait, I guess I care. Why am I doubting this, when only hours ago I was convinced that if I didn't do this I would be miserable for the rest of my life? All right, enough of this nonsense. I know this is what I need, and this is what I chose.

I got out my truck and walked to the front of the apartment building, which actually looks more like a New York brownstone. The exterior of the building was old rustic looking bricks with planters under all the windows, it had a charm no one could deny. I took in a deep breath and raised my arm to knock, I exhaled slowly and put my fist to the door. It only took a moment for Angela to answer, and when she did she yanked me into a hug at breakneck speed, if I didn't know any better I'd have thought she was a vampire too, but I knew better. I dropped my duffle bag and wrapped my arms around her. Although we had kept in tough through emails and over the phone, we hadn't actually seen each other for two months. It felt great to see her again, I hadn't realized how much I'd missed her. After what felt like five minutes of hugging we both let go. Angela spoke first, "Bella! I can't believe we are going to be roommates, this is going to be awesome!"

Her enthusiasm was contagious, I couldn't help but be overjoyed. "I'm really glad that we're living together too Angela." I meant it, I really did, but even I knew I didn't sound like I had.

"Okay Bella, spill." She was staring at me with an intensity that could rival Edwards, it gave me the chills. I wasn't sure what I was going to tell her, but obviously it wasn't going to be the truth. How nuts would I sound if I said, 'my vampire fiancé is crowding me'? I could tell her a partial truth though.

"Let me start with, I still love Edward, but I shouldn't have rushed into living with him. It was different when I lived at my house and he lived at his. I had time to be on my own, most of the time I didn't want to be, but the option was still there. But living at the Cullen house took away that option. He just wont let me be alone. Not to mention he insists on doing everything for me. I'm eighteen years old, I can make my own meals and do my own laundry. I want a husband not a butler." Saying that out loud was really liberating. If I had said that to Edward, it would have silenced him, too bad I only think of clever lines after the fact. "I just need to get away from him for a while, granted he'll still come around, I could never be away from him too long, but I will do what I want for myself, when I want, without an escort. Do you understand, does any of this make sense?" I almost started laughing, as if she could ever really understand what it was like to be with Edward, in a positive light and a negative.

"I can't honestly say I really understood any of that, but I know that you would never willing be away from him unless you really needed it. So please, make yourself at home."

I didn't really have anything more to say, so I said this, "Thank you Angela." She flashed the smile that universally means 'anytime' and then showed me to my room. I threw down my bag and plopped onto the bed. I didn't even bother undressing, I just closed my eyes and passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

Have you ever had that moment right after you wake from a deep satisfying sleep where your life comes into perfect clarity before your eyes? You realize that everything up until now no longer matters; your life is yours for the taking and you embrace it. This morning when I woke up I had that moment. It was simply amazing. I knew coming to live with Angela was the right thing.

I crawled out of bed and headed into the kitchen, still in my clothes from yesterday. Angela was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. "Hey sleepy head."

I smiled at her and said, "What time is it?"

"Eleven-thirty." She said it with a slight giggle.

"Wow, I didn't know I was so tired. But oh well, it felt good and that's all I care about. I need to go find a job today, care to join me?"

"I would but I have class in an hour, but good luck though Oh, by the way, Edward called while you were sleeping, he wants you to call him."

Great, I haven't even been gone twenty-four hours and he's already obsessing. "He just can't make this easy on me, can he?"

"Maybe he just wants to make sure you got here alright."

"I doubt that's all, he probably is going to tell me that I made a huge mistake. But I made up my mind and he is not going to change it."

"Well, you should still call him, even if it is only to tell him not to call…often. Alright, I'm going to class, see you later Bella."

"Bye Ang." Wow. Who knew so much could happen in one day. I'm going to take a shower and then I'll call him, maybe.

I got out of the shower twenty minutes ago. I'm still sitting in front of the phone. I know I should call, and I want to, but then again, I don't want to argue over something that is already done. But if I wait any longer he is just going to show up here because he'll think something awful happened. I should just let him think that for a little while, but doesn't really deserve it I guess. Ugh, fine, I guess I'm going to have to call. Here it goes. I dialed his cell. It rang once before he answered it, he must have been waiting, great. "Bella. I've been waiting for you to call, I thought something happened to you."

"Honestly Edward, I can go a day with out being attacked. You need to relax. I'm fine and I will continue to be fine. Is there anything else you wanted to say Edward?"

"I want you to come home."

"Is there anything ELSE you want to say? I'm not coming back for a while, accept it. Don't try to convince me otherwise, because I will hang up on you." He was silent for a while after that. "Edward?"

"Bella."

"I have to go."

"I love you."

"….I love you too….Bye." I hung up before he could say anything else. It wasn't the worst talk we ever had, but it could have been better. Well, if it wasn't him, it could have been better. He is far more stubborn than I ever will be. Ok now that I've got that all squared away, time to find a job.

I hopped into my truck and drove into downtown Seattle. I went into a couple boutiques but no one was hiring. I finally ended up in a small but packed pizza place. They needed a waitress to work nights, I couldn't find anything else so I took it. Waitressing isn't my cup of tea, but I could tell the tips would be good, and that's all I care about. It's too late in the semester to enroll at the university, but the community college is still accepting late admissions; I headed straight over. Registering was simple enough, just chose my classes and paid the late fee's. I put my tuition on a deferred payment plan, I'll pay it off as soon as I can afford it. I start classes tomorrow. I wanted to get acquainted with the city, but it was starting to get dark, and I'm sure Angela is back at the apartment.

I was driving home when I realized I felt guilty about how I handles Edward on the phone. I decided to call him and tell him he could come visit on Saturday (today is only Monday, so I've got time to settle in). Gosh, I can't believe I'm already feeling sorry for him. The ride from the school to the apartment (I don't really feel like it's mine yet) is really short, I was already pulling into my space. I'll just call him from here, I don't want Angela to hear incase it doesn't go how I want it to. I dialed, and again he answered after the first ring. "Bella? Whats wrong? Did someone try to hurt you?"

"Edward, calm down, everything is fine. I was just feeling bad about my call earlier. I know you worry about me. So I've decided that you can come down to visit on Saturday, but only during the day, I have to work at night."

"Oh Bella, love, that sounds delightful. I will see you on Saturday. Well, I have to go, Jasper and Emmet want me to play some new video game they bought. I love you, bye." The phone went dead before I could even say bye back. He's handling himself better than I ever thought he could. It is odd though that only this morning he was depressed. Oh well, I'll choose this well adjusted Edward over stubborn overprotective Edward any day. I got out of the truck and went into the apartment. I was right, Angela was home. She was cooking dinner, it smelled delicious.

"Angela, what are you making, it smells wonderful."

She laughed, "Geeze Bella, calm down, it's only Rice-a-Roni"

I must have skipped lunched while I was out today, oops. "I'm starving, anything is good right now. How long until it's done?"

"About five minutes."

As soon as it was done, I stuffed my face. I said goodnight to Angela, and headed off to my room. I still hadn't unpacked anything, so I did that first and then I conked out.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I know it's been an oober long time since I posted, but I lacked motivation and I had a lot of homework. College is gay, just putting that out there. And I know this not a very long chapter, but they never really are so :p**

**Sorry it took so long. :  
**

Do you ever feel like your life lives its self around you, but doesn't feel the need to actually include you, or even let you know that it's moving on? It just whizzes by, with no attention from you. I felt like that this week, here it is, already Saturday morning, and I'm left wondering where I spent the past week.

Edward was coming to visit today. I'll admit it; I missed him, but not enough to regret leaving. My hopes for today are these: he comes, we don't talk about me going back, and we have a good time.

Apparently, while my life went on without me, Edward had called one night while I was at work and told Angela he'd be coming at 9:00 AM. A little early for my taste, but I knew it was so we could spend as much time together as possible. I finished getting ready at 8:55, so I went into the living room to wait the five minutes until Edward knocked. He was probably already outside, but I knew he would wait, so as not to appear antsy.

Right at as the clock struck nine, the doorbell rang. I jumped up and sprinted to the door, I guess I missed him more than I thought.

"Bella!"

"Edward!"

"I've been miserable without you. I felt empty this whole week."

"I missed you too Edward, but please don't try to put me on a guilt trip. I'm happy with my choice, and I wish you were too."

"How can I be happy about my fiancé deciding she needs a break from me and my family?"

"How about wanting your fiancé to be happy, by whatever means necessary?" He went quiet. Yeah, I knew that would shut him up. Always preaching about how all he cares about is my happiness. Humph, take that.

About five minutes later, we had moved from the doorway to the couch, neither of us saying a word. Finally, he spoke, "So what do you want to do today?"

Well that threw me for a loop, but I was glad we moved away from our previous conversation. "Umm, how does a trip to the park sound?"

"It sounds like a plan," he said grinning. Who knew he loved parks? Luckily our apartment (I guess I've accepted it as mine now) is right down the street from a park, so we just walked to it. Our stroll was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Once the park came into view, I ran over to the swings and plopped down on one. Edward didn't quicken his pace; he just continued to saunter towards me. Once he reached the swings, he took one himself and said, "I think I finally understand your decision." I knew the silence was too good to be true, but at least this was a more positive direction.

"You do?"

"Yes. Ever since we got together, we haven't been apart, well except when I, you know." I could see the pain on his face. "The point is, I think you never really got to define yourself as an individual. As an adult. I realize now that it's something you need to do, and I am telling you now, that I fully support your need to find who are apart from me." Wow. That. Was. Amazing.

"Oh, Edward, thank you." I got up off my swing and went over to where he was on his. I looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I love you." He quickly stood up and took my chin in his hand bringing his lips down to mine. It wasn't an over the top, crazy passionate kiss. It was simple and sweet, and contained all the love in the world. We spent the rest of the day just playing around at the park, laughing and giggling all our worries away. Then 4 O'clock rolled around. "Edward, I have to go get ready for work."

"I'll walk you back to the apartment." I may have accepted it as my new home, but he obviously hadn't.

"Alright." We joined hands and once again, we walked in silence to our destination. When we reached the door, I kissed him goodbye and told him I would call him during the week. I went inside and got ready for work and left.

Work was pretty uneventful. I made good money, but serving food isn't the most exciting job. After I got home I took a shower and as soon as I walked into my room, Angela jumped up off my bed and almost shouted, "How was it today with Edward?!" I recounted the day's events and conversations to her and when I finished she said, "Good. At least he's come to his senses," and she strolled out of my room.

Still lost in my own haze, I got dressed for bed and felt like the world was now waiting at my feet. I laid back and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It seems I'm making a habit out of being exhausted.


End file.
